A marriage is not just about weddings. The spectacular success of your wedding is not an indication of the spectacular success of your marriage. Most great weddings have disintegrated after a week or two of marriage; and most decade-long marriages have endured without any significant initial wedding. In fact, many people confuse weddings with marriages – they are two separate things. Simply put, a wedding is the ceremonious event or occasion that marks the coming together of a man and woman as husband and wife – it is more of a ceremonious party and social celebrations; but a marriage on the other hand is the state of remaining a husband and wife or couple for life within a matrimonial institution.
A wedding is a one-day or even week-long activity for celebrating a new couple, but a marriage is the actual living together of the couple to navigate a new existence of living together in a spiritual and physical bond of matrimony. The main reason why many home or marriages break within a few weeks or months of matrimony is because the couples never get real with the facts of the marriage, they think the success and fanfare of a wedding is synonymous with the success and fanfare of a marriage. So when the wedding celebration flesh is pulled away from the marriage to reveal the bare facts and bones, then they are faced with a new reality they never knew existed. A man that gets attracted to a lady because of her makeup now sees her beside him on his bed and in his home without any make-ups, and he wonders if this is what he married.
Let us take it one after the other:
– Keep your budgets low for any wedding celebrations: Post-wedding demands have brought a great strain on new couples and this impacted upon their relationships. Do not ever borrow money to organise a wedding ceremony, unless of course both of you are willing to go that path. In fact, it is better for the bride’s family and the groom’s family to render financial assistance toward the success of the wedding than for the couples to go borrow for their wedding. So open up to your families and go according to what you are capable of without borrowing because the post-wedding obligations of repaying big loans can tear a home apart. And to keep costs low and minimal, see a wedding planner like 360Eventee for consultations.
– Adhere to all legal and traditional wedding requirements: You must adhere to all legal and traditional wedding requirements if you want your marriage to be successful and without any external problems. For instance, go for a registry or court wedding and ensure you have a valid marriage certificate – you’d need it as a man and wife; go for a church or Islamic wedding if the family insists on it even though you’ve had a registry wedding; and go for a traditional wedding or engagement where a dowry and other required materials are presented to the family of the bride, or groom as the case may be. Not going through any of these may be disastrous for the couples if they face any marital problems, or if one of the partners happen to pass away before his/her time.
– Get married according to legal and traditional expectations: This looks similar to the above point but it is way different. The point here is that if you are married to a man and has children for him while he has not paid your dowry, the problem you might face from relatives may tear you apart; and the problem you may face after his death may be too injurious for you. If as a man you happen to impregnate a lady you love dearly, ensure you pay her dowry and observe the traditional wedding rites or the nightmare you face from her family may tear down your marriage, and the harm you will face at her death will nearly consume you. Meanwhile, legal marriages protect your children in life. So no matter how long you have been living together with tens of biological children, go back and do the right thing to make things easier for yourself and your children when you are gone.
– Be real-to-life with your spouse before the wedding: Be who you are before and after the wedding. Be real for once, or trying to be real after the wedding would bring harm. Do not fake anything before the wedding, be the real you and let your man or lady accept you for who you really are. Don’t trap a man or woman into marriage by being fake because you can’t be fake for life, and when the real you surfaces in the home, then trouble starts and the marriage starts to crack up.
To learn more on how to hold your home together, or how to prepare and have the best of weddings without breaking into a bank, contact us at 360Eventee today and we’d be there for you before and after your happy weddings. We are waiting to speak with you.